Thursday, September 6, 2012

Learning how to...Drown

People who are drowning can swim better than I can.  Yet for some unknown to mankind reason, I decided to take a scuba diving class this semester.  Go ahead call me crazy, plenty of people already have.

The funny part is, I used to be a great swimmer.  When I was a kid, my parents called me a “little fish,” and in middle school I was put in the advanced swim class during gym and even considered joining the diving team.  For some reason or another though, after middle school, I stopped going in the water.  I think a lot of it had to do with my self confidence in myself and not wanting to be in a swimsuit, because honestly I will to this day avoid any situation which involves me having to wear a swimsuit.  I don’t have a swim suit body and I never will.  Over the years, I got rusty with my swimming.  I just didn’t think I got THAT bad.

 So if I’m a horrible swimmer, why did I decide to take scuba diving?  Yes, partially because I actually was naive enough to think that being able to breathe under water was going to make me a good swimmer.  And yes, I didn’t think that I was going to have to be a swim team level swimmer to take this class, but that’s not why I wanted to take the class.  I wanted to take the class because I’m moving to New Zealand in a couple of months, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get to travel to Australia at some point while I am down that way.  And diving in the great barrier reefs would be entirely too amazing. 

 But here’s the thing.  I have to be able to massively swim for this class.  And when half your class is made up of swim team swimmers, the fact that you can’t even do one length of free style the right way, makes everything intimidating.  Yes, I could work and work and work doing free swim hours to improve my swimming, but it comes down to this: this is a class at school.  I am getting credit for taking this. This means I am also getting a letter grade, so my GPA is going to be affected by this class.  

 I came home from class last night to an email from my teacher saying that things would get better if I only worked at it.  It was nothing more than a pity email. Her feeling bad for me because she doesn’t want the only girl in the class dropping and she knows that I obvious want certified if I am taking the class.  But it was nothing more than a pity email that implied that if I work hard, I’ll get a C in her class. 

 I have already put a good hundred dollars into this class, and have a good 200 more dollars to put in this class (getting scuba certified is expensive!)  I’m paying extra to drop my GPA? I’m pretty sure I’m paying enough for my regular classes already to just get the same affect. 

It boils down to this.  Yes I want this certification.  Yes I want to be able to go to Australia and swim the reefs.  But I just don’t know if it is going to be at all possible for me to do it.  I don’t think I am going to have the time and energy to reteach myself how to swim like a care free 7 year old again.  I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to teach myself how to be a “little fish” in a matter of 8 weeks on top of all my other classes and commitments. 

 So what if I don’t end up swimming in the great barrier reef right? Plenty of people go there and don’t do that and it doesn’t make my trip any less incredible right?  I’m still getting to travel the world and see amazing places that I could only dream about going and seeing.    I’m still going to get to see different animals and organisms, even if they aren’t under water.  I had no other plans for a scuba certification other than this trip, so nothing else in my life is really affected by my decision to drop out of the class. 

 The lessons we learn in life aren’t always the ones we expect to learn.  I learned the hard way that sometimes remembering things isn’t always as easy as remembering how to ride a bike, and usually those are the things that we can survive our lives without knowing.  Sometimes the things we want to learn we can’t.  I have realized one thing.  I am a master at drowning, which is something some other people can’t do.  So there.  I’ve got that to keep me going.
Side Note: I am selling some scuba equipment (unless I end up returning it) which is brand new and not opened yet.  This includes, mask, snorkle, and small/medium sized fins, and mask cleaner.  I'll be selling them for around $110 plus shipping if they need shipped. 

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