Sunday, July 8, 2012

Kat and the Y.A. Novel

I am living in a young adult novel, and to be deadly honest it's not a fabulous as it would seem.  When you break it down to what it is, the answer is that this is real life.  Because despite the fact that in Y.A. novels, the protagonist always ends up finding love, or at least finds some form of life long happiness, none of those things seem to be coming my way.  In fact, my entire life currently seems to be rotating around guy drama.

There is more guy drama in my life than you would probably even find in an episode of "Awkward," and if you watch that show you know that Jenna, has A LOT of drama in her life.  But between two guys that like me, one of which I definitely don't like and one that I could potentially like in the future, a guy I like that I absolutely shouldn't because 1. he has a girlfriend and 2. I really just shouldn't, and that guy in the coffee shop that I am completely lusting over but has no idea I even exist...yeah it's a lot to process over time.  The funny thing is, is that I read books like "Anna and The French Kiss" and "Lola and the Boy Next Door" and wish to myself "why can't my life be like that?"  Well here.  For example I am going to explain how, although I am like a girl from a Y.A. novel very much, I am nothing the same.

1.  My life and surroundings are average.  
As in, I live in a neighbor hood where the average family has both a mother and a father (even if they are split) with 2.5 kids and a white piked fence.  I don't live in Paris, I don't live in New York, I don't have two gay dads, I'm not suffering from some life threatening illness.
My life is average to say the least.  So it makes sense that nothing extraordinary would ever happen to me.  All the girls in Y.A. novels live somewhere exciting, or have something VERY different about their families.  That's just not me.

2. I'm not that type of girl at all
I'm not the type of girl to go out of her comfort zone to talk to a guy.  I'm not the type of girl who knows HOW to date or what to say to guys or how to treat guys.
Prime example, when a guy asks me out, my instinct is to decline.  Because I don't who I want to date let alone how to go about the dating thing.
I'm also not the type of girl a guy would leave his girlfriend for. I'm not super attractive, or model skinny, or nice. Ever notice how the girls in Y.A. novels seem to be flawed but only to a minimal amount? My flaw far outweigh my strengths, as it is with many real people.Or even if they do seem real enough, they always seem to find a guy that doesn't care who they are only and fall in love at first sight anyway, but let's face it.  We get one happy ending if we're lucky.  Out of all the people we will meet and who come in and out of our lives, the chances of this time being the one are SLIM.  In Y.A. novels, he's almost ALWAYS the one.

3. No one is writing my story but me
And although I'm a writer, I can't tell myself what to say when and set up the perfect occasions for me and a guy to fall in love. I can't create perfect conversations or perfect moments.  It just does not happen that way.

Here's the reality with each of my guys:
For one, I don't like him the way he likes me and I have to spend my time ignoring him or trying to let him down easy.
For anther, I guess we just start as friends and work out way to what might happen and risk it not working out if something does happen (which I am not at all saying will ever happen because I don't know him well enough yet at all).
I continue to admire the one from afar with all realization that I will never have the courage to go up to him and say "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, call me maybe." Because that IS NOT HAPPENING.  Besides my luck, he's gay.
And for the last, I guess I just get over him.  Because I don't think anything good will come of it.

So yeah, my life is a Y.A. novel, but its certainly a grimier, more worn down version where no one tells me what to do except myself.  Maybe I'll get lucky and something fabulous will happen, but I think it's time to realize that although we read about love and perfect relationships, the reality is that it hardly happens that way at all.  Guess it's about time we realized that.

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