Thursday, March 3, 2011

We who are young think that we can rule the world

A little over a year ago I wrote a list of ten things I would like to do before I die.  I am now going to share that list with you and tell you what I think about these things now, a year later.

10. to finally get the respect I deserve at work.
To be honest the job I had (it was really two of them) was in food service.  It was terrible and I never had the chance to get a raise or get treated well.  The one I was complaining about here was my catering job.  I wasn’t getting any good hours or any good positions, and to be honest I was getting tired of it.  Since, I have basically quit that job (I am no longer picking up hours) and am keeping my job at another food service place on campus.  I still hate my job, and I sometimes I hate the people I work with and the customers I served, but it’s helping me pay my bills and I am trying to save money for a big trip in a year.

9. To work a summer at the Harry Potter Park.
Although this would be the most amazing summer job ever, I have to be realistic.  There are so many things that I want to do with my summers, most of which involve internships now, that I don’t think I am going to have time to work at the Harry Potter theme Park.  I would still love to go there with some friends, and maybe spend a week at Disney JUST to go there every day.  Because come on, to get to go to Hogwarts everyday for a week? Sounds like a good deal to me.  Although I would probably cry the entire time I was there. 

8. To finally launch my idea for “Breaking High School”.
What Breaking High School was supposed to be was a vlog series on Youtube.  I had a girl who was my best best friend in high school.  We literally did EVERYTHING together.  Halfway through High Schol we had this big falling out and we stopped talking to each other completely and we hung out with different people, and eventually we both moved on from one another, and we still don’t talk to this day.  I not necessarily regret what happened between us, I regret HOW it happened because it really sucked, but it did need to happen.  Breaking High School was supposed to be a vlog series that would reconnect us to one another through a series of video blogs on one youtube site.  We could break down what happened, why it happened, and then kind of generalize it to the way high school is for everyone and how you don’t have to let that be your life. 
Granit, I never got the courage to ask her to do it, so it never happened.  We’re still only freshman in college, so there would be a chance that we could get it to happen, but I highly doubt that a. she would ever want to do it and b. that I would ever have the guts to ask her about it let alone talk to her again.

7.  To find Charlie
This one still applies to my life.  Finding Charlie would apply going to London and other places in England and getting to see the cities.  Hopefully I would find Charlie along the way (Charlie is the guy I imaged as my perfect dream guy in my last blog).  It could definitely still happen, and I definitely want it to still happen.

6. To get one of my books published.
Yes. Yes. Yes.  Despite any career decision I make, I still want to get one of my books published.  It would be a dream come true.  Even if it doesn’t sell, even if everyone hates it, I feel like it would be a huge accomplishment in my life.  Writing is something I have enjoyed since the 3rd grade.  It’s what I’ve always loved, and I want to share that with the world.  I have all these ideas floating in my head, and I want other people, other teens, to read about it.

5. to have said book put on the best seller list.
It would be cool, I won’t lie, but I don’t think I want to make that a priority because in the end I think I’d get lost in the WANT instead of the love for writing.  I don’t want that.  I don’t want to lose why I am writing.  I had an English teacher in high school that said the only reason people write is for fame and fortune that they hope to get.  Safe to say, I dropped his class the next day, and I actually think I told him that that was why I was dropping his class.  I really, really want to prove him wrong.  I don’t care if my book is a best seller.  I don’t care if the entire world reads it.  I really care that a few people who read it honestly, truly like it.  And I hope that along the way I could inspire other people to write as well.

4. Also to sell the screenplay rights to said book and hopefully help work on the writing team as well.
It’s a dream. I know that won’t happen.  Maybe I could sell the rights. Maybe.  But I’m not going to force the happening of it.  I’m not going to force little kids on the side of the road to read my book so its popular enough to be turned into a movie.  I’m not going to go to every movie producer out there and beg for them to buy my screenplay rights.   Whatever happens after I publish my book (if it happens) happens.  I’m not going to push anything any further.  Would I go on a book tour? Probably.  Would I do interviews about my book? Yes? But not because I want to sell the book, but because hopefully I would love the book enough that I would just want to talk about with everyone who wanted to.

3. To spend a semester abroad in either London or New Zealand. 
This one I still think is absolutely possible. In fact, I plan to take some time this summer to learn more about summer abroad and what it is going to take to get me to New Zealand to study animals there.  I am really excited about it.  It will be so different for me to go to a new place for such a long amount of time.  Part of me thinks that I am so dependent on my parent’s still that I won’t be able to do it, but most of me thinks that it will be really good for me to be living on or near a college campus by myself or with other students.  I’ll actually get to experience what it’s like to not be at home and to be somewhere completely different.  I’ll get to feel that sense of freedom that I haven’t had in so long.
Honestly I think that will help me get over my fear of needing my parents’ permission for absolutely everything that I do.  I’ll have to make my own decisions for once.  It will be good for me.  And I will actually be able to figure myself out and find out who I am and what I want without having to worry if my parents approve or not, because what they hear from me will only be through emails.  I think it will work out well.

2. To get the hell out of Erie and finally get back to Alaska.
Yes please!  I am actually trying to plan a trip back to Alaska for next summer.  I am hoping that everything will work out and I can get back to Cordova without any problems.  I am trying to save up as much money as I can now so I won’t have any issues getting there and having a place to stay for awhile.  The biggest problem is going to be convincing my parents to let me go.  I think that if I get it all planned out they’ll be a little more willing to let me go.  At least I can hope they will.
But that’s not really it.  I also would love to live in Alaska someday.  Even if it’s only for a few years, I just want to spend a portion of my life there.  My hearts belonged there for awhile now.  If you say Alaska to me, I will also answer with how much I want to go back there, or how much I love it there, or how beautiful it is there.  Basically, I have nothing bad to say about that place.  When I’m there, I don’t even mind that it’s cold.  You sort of forget about it at first because you are so taken by what you see, and then once you get used to what you see, you get used to the cold as well. 
I could imagine myself living in a lot of places other than Alaska, but the image of me living in Alaska is certainly my favorite to date.

1. To get accepted into and go to Virginia Tech Veterinary School.
Honestly, not so much anymore.  I don’t have much of a desire to go to a veterinary school now.  I don’t honestly think I would be happy doing that with the rest of my life, and that’s not just because I dislike my job as a vet tech.   I want to be able to travel.  I think this bucket list proved really well that one of my greatest interests is travel.  So settling down and having a vet clinic wouldn’t really work well for me.  And if I still did become a vet, I would be a traveling vet who worked with exotics, and to be honest if I was going to be traveling around the world like that, I think I would rather be studying the animals and seeing them as happy and in their natural environment, not when they were dying or extremely hurt. 
I still want to go to a grad school.  I am not sure what one yet.  I mean, I am just starting this process over again; I still have a lot of time to figure out what I want to do.  I am not at this point counting anything out, but there are things that I am not really counting in anymore either.  I am starting to figure things out more and more every day, which is good.  But I know for sure that I still have a long road in front of me, and it’s going to be a fun, but long, journey.

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